You're From Massachusetts If...

1) The person driving in front of you is going 70mph and you are cursing him for going too slow. 2) The fact that Route 128 and I-95 are pretty much the same thing doesn't confuse you. 3) When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke . . .. not quinine water. 4) You actually enjoy driving around rotaries. 5) You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space. 6) You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit. 7) You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer. 8) You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks. 9) You know what they sell at a packie. 10) You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Patriots would move to Hartford. 11) You laugh at all the other states in New England. 12) You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call. 13) You can actually find your way around Boston.

14) You have gone to at least one party at UMass. 15) The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools. 16) You refer to the New York Yankees as the Devil's spawn, or something worse. 17) Colleges are used as landmarks for directions, i.e.,

Go past MIT until you hit Harvard. Take a right and go past Lesley. Keep going until you get to Tufts (actual directions). 18) Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever. 19) Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday. 20) You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus. 21) You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. 22) You laughed at the kids down south who never got snow days. 23) You feel that the rest of the world needs to drive more like you. 24) You know The Beanpot is a hockey tournament, not a serving container. 25) You have never been to Cheers. 26) You can recognize a girl from Revere simply by her hair. 27) You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs. 28) You know that there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West Roxbury than just a compass direction.

29) Somebody calls UMass "ZooMass" and you take it as a compliment. 30) When the words "WICKED" and "GOOD" go together. 31) When you know that this is the year for the Sox. 32) When you know how to make a frappe. 33) When you know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's. 34) When you actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one. 35) When you know what "Southie" is. And how it is different from the South End.

36) When you are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a big thank you. 37) When St. Patrick's Day is your favorite holiday. 38) When you never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape". 39) If you cried when Boston Garden was torn down. 40) When you think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger. 41) You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on a field trip in grammar school. 42) You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.

43) You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day. 44) You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester firefighters. 45) If you live in Charlton City, most likely 99% of your family does as well. 46) You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line. 47) You know that P Town isn't the name of a new rap group. 48) You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese. And, the final and most important way to know that you are from Massachusetts... 49) You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.